I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
