yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He kissed a someone with a penis
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
