woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
