just come out here and I will go home with you...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
