I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
