Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
