Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
