Your tits are I can't wait for
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
