Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
