I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
