if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
