Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
