This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
