I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
