Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
