Grow some girl-balls and come out already
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
