can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
