Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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