So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
