i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
