what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
