very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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