hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
