He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
