Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
