I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
