Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
