Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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