dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
