no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
