did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
