I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
