My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
