is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
