I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
now i know why i became what i already was.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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