Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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