Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize