did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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