I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Even my vagina gasped.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
