I wish I could teleport
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize