i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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