No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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