he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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