how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize