By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
i think my cat just said my name.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
