hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
