Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize