so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize