i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I need to align my fucking chakras
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
