I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I don't deserve a penis
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
