He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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