it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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