I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
