found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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