he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
