Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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