We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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