if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
