Nicole vs. Life
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
