I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
