I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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